Final Chapter.....

Well, all good things must come to an end, and ones' status in life will not change this fact. On Tuesday, Feburary 27, my mother, Judith A. Toups, passed on to the whatever is after this life. I do not pretend to know what is after this. It could be everything, or it could be nothing. I prefer to exist in the here and now and will deal with such issues upon my demise. Mom passed away in her own home, surrounded by her entire family, with the addition of several other people that have earned the right to enter the clan by being there when called upon. The end could not have been any better, if it is possible to associate better with death. She went with little pain (not sure if this is the case, but from outward appearances, we can hope). She held on long enough to acknowledge the presence of each of her six children, not with words, but with outstretched arms, and a gentle hug. After the last of her brood arrived, she relaxed and slipped into the limbo that Xanax and pain meds provide. In short order, her breathing slowed and her poor heart raced, beating so hard as to not complete the pumping cycle before asked to start again. All of us, including our adopted members of the clan, took shifts at her beside, lest she awaken and not have someone there. Brother #2, Jay August, had the privilage to be present when she passed. The word was given that she was close to leaving us, but by the time we made it back to her room, she had departed, and the pent up emotions of the day broke the binds of self-control and flowed freely amongst the family. Grief is a personal emotion and is exhibited in different ways by different people, but I must say, everyone present felt more at ease knowing that it was over. Even the most fragile of our clan exhibited impressive control over what is probably the most intense emotion that we as humans are shackled with. I feel that the circumstances contributed to our overall sense of ease, as mom went with her family by her side and did not linger at the end. As usual, the woman had a goal, and she achieved it. She had said she wanted the end to come quickly so that we, her family, would not have to endure what she had experienced watching her parents go. It is reassuring that even her final moments were a direct result of her own determinations that had served her so well in life. We can all take a lesson from her. We should LIVE and not just exist. We should DO and not just talk. And we should LOVE, unconditionally and without restraint. This amazing woman still had a lesson to give and by god, she gave it, and a little thing called death was not enough to stop her. Rock on Mom!!

Her memorial service still has to be firmed up and I will give details in another post, titled...you guessed it, Epilogue.